Sunday 18 April 2010

Satur-Fucking-Days!

Working in a shop on a Saturday is oh such fun! Especially when it is mega sunny and warm outside and everyone else is basking in the rays of glory! The best part is dealing with a sudden spout of hayfever which I have never ever had! The first time I get it is inside at work for 9 hours and still sneezing now at 1 in the morning GRR!

Hayfever Face


On top of all this hoo-haa was a day full of proper gonks!

1. An Old couple (yes this is a definite pattern!) ask me to get something from the top shelf being the giraffe like creature I am. They then ask me a fateful question about art & crafts.

Old man "
Also do you have acetate sheets?"

Me "*EEK*
what is that?"

Old Man "
You know the plastic sheets"

All this helpful information is making my head explode!

Me "
I'll go ask the department manager"

The department manager tells me we don't have any. I return to the couple.

Me "
Sorry we dont supply it"

Old Man "
That's ok thanks for asking"

Two Minutes Later I Have Returned To My Previous Activity.

The Old Man holds up an alien package for me to see.

Old Man "
I think maybe you need to tell your manager that she doesn't know her department very well"

Maybe I don't really care!

2. Later on a European man approaches me with his girlfriend. He has an aggresive nature about him.

European Man "
Do you have one of these swings?"

Me "
This one here yeah?"

European Man "
Yes"

Me "
I'll just check to see if we have one round the back"

He then lifts and taps the sign attatched to the swing which says "Take Away Today" and lets out a breath of "
huh" smugness. Damn those signs! They give excess power to the enemy!

I brush him off and don't allow him to revel in his ability to read English.

There are several of the swings in the warehouse and he wants to know how big it is. I show him through the warehouse door and then the ponce walks into the warehouse.

Me "
Excuse me you're not allowed in the warehouse"

He ignores me big time.

European Woman "
Get out *hehe*"

European Man "
BLAH BLAH see how big BLOB BLOB BLOB"

They both head out the store.

Me "
O .... K"

3. Me & my department manager need to take out a trampoline for a young mother. I go to get a flat bed trolley as those things are damn heavy! As I roll the trolley towards where the tramploines are near the tills a young-ish couple come out with a regular trolley and I have to swerve to the complete opposite side to avoid their tunnel vision path! Then as I pass them the guy utters "
prick" WHAT A FUCKING FUCKING FUCK FUCKITY FUCK FUCK FACE! "I'm well hard in front of my girlfriend with my fat face because I can say the word prick" is what you should have said MATE!

4. After taking a second trampoline out we return to the main entrance and a worker from Sainsbury's comes over to us with a trolley from our shop.

Sainbos Worker "Someone left this, left this outside of our shop"

My Department Manager "
Oh did they. That was silly of them" (her sarcasm is so subtle I fackin lav it!)

Sainsbos Worker "*deep tone*
Yeah" Toddles off

Me "
Geez she was a happy chappy"

5. Lastly I would like to mention a song which was the bain of my life for my first 2 months working in my current position. The track is called 'Download Me I'm Free' and his name is Lazlo Blane. And believe it or not the prior sentence is actually part of the lyrics! This nightmare of a musical "accomplishment" is not too disimilar to an advert on TV which makes you want to smash your brand new 42" flat screen! EVERYONE who works at my place HATES it with a passion and we were all so relieved when one day it was not played (after being played at least 5 times per shift previously - not even exaggerating). Then today the fateful intro scorched itself into my hayfever ridden head "
BAH BAH BAH BAH BAH BAH BAH BAH" is how it starts so you can imagine how annoying the rest is.

Item Of The Day: Cat Repeller. Tag Line
Bye Bye Pussy! :-D

All in all a typical Saturday with super typical annoyances!

1 comment:

  1. I thought it sounded like a product a man converting hetero to homo would use lol

    ReplyDelete