Do You Need Some Help? ... No Really?

As I have laid out in the blog description this is all about the silly things people say and do at my workplace. Here are a few classics which have happened in my first two months of employment.

1. A customer comes up to me and is already pre-occupied by his current phone call ...

Customer "Do you sell air dusters in here?"

Me "What is one of those?"

Customer "It's like a box ... with air in it"

Me (what I really wanted to say) "May i suggest you go buy ... a box?"

Safe to say I told him we didn't have said item in store. Well described customer!!!


2. An elderly gentleman approaches me with what appeared to be his middle aged daughter ...

Elderly man "Do you sell memory foam mattresses in here?"

I didn't quite hear him as I was facing the other way as he came stammering towards me.

Me "What was that sorry?"

Elderly Man "Do you sell mem..."

Middle Aged Daughter "Mattresses! Do you sell mattresses?"

I was a bit taken aback by her out lash - chill out love it's a sleeping aid not a fucking lifeline!

Elderly man "the memory foam ones. Do you have them?"

Me "yes we do if you just go upstairs they are on the opposite side"

Apparently when I clearly uttered these words it sounded like something completely different as the daughter chipped in unnecessarily AGAIN!

Middle Aged Daughter "What? You wouldn't know anything about that?"

WTF BITCH!

Me "NO. They are upstairs"

The elderly man noticing the growing tension between me and his daughter then ushered her away saying "come on, upstairs" may the gay-lord bless him :-D

3. A rather butch and muscly German comes up to me ...

German Muscle Man "*inaudible English* BLAH BLAH BLAH need a forklift BLAH BLAH BLAH no-one there round back"

Me "Excuse me WHAT now?"

German Muscle comes out with the same BLAH.

Me "OK come with me to customer services and I'll get someone called out for you"

German Muscle doesn't move.

German Muscle Man "I need forklift"

MOVE IT!!!

Me "yes I understand (I didn't) but you need to come to customer services as i DO NOT deal with that"

He was stressing so much that his veins were popping! It was very akin to the middle aged daughter. HELP ME OR I WILL DIE!!!! Calm the fuck down!

4. An East-Asian foreigner stops in front of me ...

Asian Man "You have scale to do the weigh?"

Me "You mean weighing scales?"

Asian man "No no no. To weigh how much"

Me "Oh you mean to weigh food?"

He then puts on a show letting me know how his requested item operates like I'm the thick one!

Asian man "You stand on and it tell you how much you weigh"

Me "Yes WEIGHING SCALES (what I said in the first flippin' place!)"

Anyway that is all for now. Expect more bitching about super silly customers who think I am their personal slave. Hope you enjoyed reading :-D x