Attack of the Prams

What is it about women with prams? They think they have right of way, queens of the pavement if you will. This is especially tiresome when they bring their road hog ways in store.

One particular day there were two women, one with a single and another with a double pram who made it their mission to get in my damn path! I am trying to make my way to the toilet for some light relief and I am blocked by this gang of mothers and babies. It seems motherhood has made them blind to general courtesy. And by using the words "excuse me can I get through please" I was presented with scowls of disgust and total reluctance.

"Eurgh, I Have A Pram" "Eurgh, I Don't Have A Shit To Give!"

As politeness was an epic fail I proceeded to weave through them to complete my lavatory mission. And ironically enough I returned a minute later to a completely clear route, only to be confronted with the exact same road block for the next half an hour, down every aisle I entered attempting to actually do my job!! GARGH!!!!

Inconsiderate aisle blocking mum's ROLL ON!!!

The Curse Of The Elderly Lady

Howdy reader! Today I would like to touch on a popular theme from within my blog. I always say that the most extreme examples of ridiculous behaviour originate from the very young and the elderly. One woman merits a special mention. She was the definition of miserable and punch worthy.

I am approached by a rather flustered frail little old lady. Who looks a bit like this:

Moustache Included!

She fails to introduce herself with the usual "hello" "excuse me" and proceeds straight into the unpleasantness. With a quivering lip and her arms vibrating angrily side to side like she was scratching vinyl as part of her DJ set "Why is there NOBODY in the garden centre?!" "Oh isn't there I'l..." "Been in there for ten minutes and there is no-one to help me". She creases her face and shakes her jelly a little more. "I'll just go get someone called down there for you". Then as I turn to make my way to customer services. "I shouldn't have to wait, it's ridiculous!". I turn to give her a reassuring smile as she continues to BLAH on and on, then as I carry on walking I can't resist saying to myself "SHUT ... THE FUCK ... UP-A!!!!" If her voice was an object it would most definitely be described as a grater. I got the call out done and then did what any sane person would do and hid from the moany old cow!!!

EURGH! Crypt keepers!